


Interlude in Green

by syredronning



Series: Draws [6]
Category: Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-08
Updated: 2010-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-11 14:37:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syredronning/pseuds/syredronning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being human means having doubts, once in a while. Three snapshots of not so glorious moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interlude in Green

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct sequel to [Domino Effects](http://syredronning.livejournal.com/1200606.html) and may not make much sense without it. They are still on vacation, and the side remark of potential health problems for Chris refers to brain imbalances briefly mentioned in "Domino Effects". When I wrote the story, I thought of it as a simple interlude, but I fear it's more complicated than that.  
> Thanks for the wonderful beta goes to madelf. All remaining flaws are solely mine.

Jim Kirk doesn't do jealousy. Especially not when it comes to Bones and Chris.

It's just that when he comes back from another day of climbing with Yushi and finds them asleep, huddled together on the couch in a picture of domestic bliss, it hits him. He wouldn't have minded finding them fucking, but this is suddenly so much harder to take, because it reminds him that the starting point of their threesome was the feelings Chris and Bones have for each other, the thing that crept up on them over the years. While it had been him to push the other two over the threshold of unvoiced attraction and into the action, Jim is well aware that Chris would likely never have started something with him. Jim had been the one to force a package deal on Chris, not because he didn't want to share Bones, but because he wanted Chris _so fucking much_, for longer than Bones had wanted him.

Jim can't help thinking that the relationship remains a little unbalanced. There had been several things that Chris freely had given to Bones for which Jim had needed to wait or work, and in some moments, he'd die happily if he received the extra smiles, the extra touches that Bones does, the ones that say loudly enough that no matter what Chris feels for him, he still feels more for Bones.

The last time Jim had been in sickbay for a life-or-death surgery, he'd actually been relieved to think that if he died, Bones would have a place to go to on Earth. Although the other two would dismiss the suggestion that they'd be able to live together, Jim thinks they'd have no problem at all. Bones would finally be dirt-side and more relaxed than onboard the Enterprise, and Chris wouldn't be lonely anymore. And judging from the last few days, maybe Chris would have more success with forcing Bones to step away from his "I'm a doctor and need to heal the world, no matter the time of day" complex, and Bones would be the right man to deal with Chris' possibly upcoming health problems.

These thoughts might have been good on his potential death bed, but right now they aren't. It had been okay to have this second climbing trip, because it had been fun and something he wouldn't be able to have again for months, but a part of him suddenly feels pushed aside, as if he's the third wheel. He knows it's mostly because he's exhausted and coming down from an intense adrenaline trip. In half an hour, he'd be fine – he just needs to get over this emotional shit until then. Determined, he passes them and takes a long, hot shower until he's ready to face the outside world again.

When he joins them in the steamy kitchen, Bones greets him with a kiss and a bear hug. Chris is absorbed in throwing together some pasta sauce and Bones stirs the noodles and can't keep his other hand from Jim as if he needs to assess his health by touch, but it's Chris' focus Jim is trying to capture, overwhelmed by the absurdly intense need to get acknowledged.

He finally receives his attention when Chris looks up and says with a smile, "Glad you're back in one piece. The doc would have my head if you fell down a wall."

Jim knows Chris means it jokingly, doesn't mean to imply that _he_ wouldn't care, but right now it hurts. It must have shown in his face, because Chris frowns.

"Anything wrong?"

"Just tired," Jim lies. Chris always assumed this thing between them wouldn't work, and Jim is damn determined to prove him wrong. The frown lingers for a moment, but then Chris' concentration is forced back to the gurgling tomato sauce, and Jim leans forward to steal a noodle from Bones' fork.

When they team up on him after dinner and show him thoroughly how much they've missed him, the white lie turns to truth.

*

Leonard McCoy doesn't do jealousy. He's blessed with not one but two gorgeous men in his life and he'd be damned if he ruined it.

It's just sometimes when they sit together and talk, Chris and Jim form this bubble of _Captain's Stuff_ of which Bones is no part, no matter how closely he's involved with Jim. He can imagine them working together, wonders how it would've been if Jim had made first officer under Chris. Chris never pushes advice onto Jim but he gives it freely when asked, pouring out his memories and thoughts in a way nobody else is privy to, not even Bones at times. Some things stay between the two commanding officers – necessary decisions that still sting, decisions so questionable that the two don't feel comfortable sharing them with him, concerned that his opinion of them might be damaged. No matter how often they use him as their conscience radar – sometimes being captain meant having to switch off said radar.

Now they're back, high on adrenaline from the day at a ground car racing course he'd sent them on. From what he understands, they'd first competed with each other and then teamed up to bust the records of the local kids. They laugh together, and he captures the moment of unbridled adoration on Jim's face. He knows that the moment Chris had walked into Jim's life, he'd been special to Jim. Jim might not want to disappoint Bones but he does anyway if he feels he must; the only person Jim would always try to avoid disappointing is Chris.

Chris' opinion bears more weight than any father's could ever have, because while no son really likes to take advice from his biological father, it's very different if the role model is _chosen_. On that recruiting night Jim had made a decision about the position Chris should hold, and so far the man hadn't give him any reason to correct that. There are days in which Bones wishes that when he criticizes Jim for something, Jim would take it less as a challenge and more as the heartfelt suggestion it usually is – would for once nod and accept his words like he would if Chris rendered the same suggestion. But Bones is just his husband and Chris is something else, and at times it rankles.

Someone pokes him. "A penny for your thoughts," Jim says.

"Just wondered if you ever stop talking and start cooking instead," Bones replies, meeting Chris' gaze. Next thing he knows, Jim is sent into the kitchen to cook, while he's pulled aside.

"Come here, man," Chris says and takes him into a hug, lips grazing the skin below Bones' ear. "Thanks for the gift, doc."

"Glad you liked it."

"Did you have a good day?"

"Met some old friends. Good – don't know."

"We'll make it up to you." Hands lace into his hair, shift his head into the perfect position before Chris' lips descend on his. He leans into the kiss, meeting the probing tongue with his own as he pushes the feelings of inadequacy into the back of his brain. Chris is a magnificent man that gives them the pleasure of his company and compassion, and he should just be happy with that.

They totally make it up to him that night.

*

Chris Pike doesn't do jealousy, especially not when it isn't within his rights to feel it. He's allowed to participate in a relationship that's rare and more satisfying than anything else he'd ever been a part of, and damn if he holds grudges about anything.

It just that when Jim and the doc start packing things, and he watches them doing so together with the wordless ease and practice of longtime partners, he feels the twinge of sadness and regret that he's not one of them. Soon they'll leave the planet together, go on the next mission, on his ship (no, not any longer, just a faint taste of ownership still lingering in the name _Enterprise_) and they'll have each other... and he'll be alone again.

There are moments in which he imagines himself as the captain, with Jim as his first officer and Leonard as CMO, and while it leads to hot fantasies, reality would never have looked like that. He had never taken a lover on his own ship, and he's pretty sure he wouldn't have broken that rule for them. He would've stood apart, watching them from the side lines, and that would have been far worse than what he has now.

Even though he rationally knows that the way it is now is the only way it could work at all, it doesn't stop him from feeling a little doleful as he waits for them at the truck, collar up high against the cool wind, hands deep in his pockets, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Through the window – _that_ window, against which Jim had fucked him spectacularly only days ago – he can see them joking around, their mouths forming words he can't hear. Sees them drawing closer and kissing, and can't stop the surge of envy on seeing their _total belonging_ manifesting in that gesture. No matter how close the three of them are when they're together, no matter how many recordings they share, he'll never have them as completely in his life as they have each other. The thought suddenly hurts like hell, tightening his throat. He clenches his jaw as they step out of the door, locking it in their wake.

"Done thinking, Chris?" the doc asks in passing, as he walks to the back of the car and throws in their bags.

"You know that's not good for you, Admiral," Jim teases him.

Chris just shrugs, not feeling up to a humorous reply.

"Hey Bones – I think we've got a serious case here." Jim examines him closely now, blue eyes raking over his face.

Chris shakes his head with a frown. "Finally done? Let's get started."

"Not like this," the doc says, capturing his arm. "I know that look."

"Do you?" Chris states coolly, with the air of emotional detachment that's his typical defense mechanism. It's also a mechanism that fails spectacularly with these men that know him far too well.

He fights them a little but they draw him into a tight embrace anyway.

"If we had things our way, we'd take you with us," Jim says. "Don't ever think it's easy for us."

"Let it rest, Jim," Chris replies roughly. "Please. I know the deal. It's okay." He lies and can live with it, because he knows everyone has to lie now and then to protect others from pointless hurting. He draws his lovers into kisses, first Jim, then the doc, shuts them up because he doesn't want to talk about it. Finally they give in and he feels their grip releasing, hands moving with a last nudge of his ass, a gentle pat on his shoulder.

He forces a smile on his face before he takes the driver's seat in the truck. They climb in from the other side, Jim taking the seat in the middle, the doc the one next to the other door.

The key turns easily, and the old engine starts with a deep roar before the sound changes into a quieter, pulsing chugging.

"Let's punch it," Chris says, and while the truck doesn't fly, it's still fun to push it to its limits on the rocky road ahead. He shares a quiet laugh with Jim over the way the doc turns greener with every mile, then finally relents and slows down to a more reasonable speed.

"Sometimes I don't know why I keep hanging around with you crazies," the doc murmurs.

"Because you love us too much," Jim says and grins at Chris, before he turns his head and kisses Bones.

"Damn straight," Chris agrees and smiles, this time genuinely.


End file.
